Every once in a while I happen to stumble upon a song, usually via pandora, 8tracks or YouTube recommendations, that perfectly sums up how I feel at that moment. This song, Dear No One by Tori Kelly, is one of those.
I’m 22 and I’ve had one semi serious relationship and a slew of fun, but overall insignificant flings. I’m not ashamed of that history because every romantic entanglement has taught me something, made me grow as a person. The reasons behind my romantic history include me having high standards for who I chose to be in a relationship with and another part of it is honestly that I enjoy Independence. I’ve always been proud of that fact that I’m strong, that I’m the type of girl that is pining for a new boyfriend as soon as she breaks up with the old boyfriend. I’m know what I want. I’m direct and I push. I get things done, and often when I see my friends with boyfriends that keep them so consumed I’m happy I don’t have one.
Yet I also believe that at some point I’m gonna meet someone who I’ll fall in love with and that will be it. In one fell swoop I won’t be able to be alone anymore. And for the longest time I searched for this person, trying to see him in every smile and flirty encounter with the men around me. But recently, as I come to the end of my college, career and I become a woman versus a girl or a young woman I’ve figured out that I can’t keep building up this perfect man in my head. Because no one is perfect and timing is never perfect. But timing can be right and when the timing is right, when all the pieces of my life are in the right position I know God will bring that ‘someone’ to me. But for now I’m happy being me. I’m happy loving my family and my friends.
I’m happy working to improve and push myself. And while yes, like the song says, sometimes I want somebody to hold me, I’m not going to let that search define me. I’m gonna be me. I’m going to fight for my dreams, for my future, for the people I love and as I strive towards the purpose I believe God has given my life I’ll meet him along the way. But for now, its about me, not him and this song perfectly sums up my relationship to romance right now and besides that its a beautiful song sung by a gorgeous girl.
Let me know what you think 🙂